• Home
  • Dating and Relationships
  • Assistance Resources
  • Advice and Tips
  • Single Mom Stories
  • Contact
You are here: Home » Dating Advice and Tips » The Dating Mom's Thrive Guide » Should I Date Or Take A Break? (8)

Should I Date Or Take A Break? (8)

by Leave a Comment

Finding a soul mate cannot heal what is broken within you.  Finding a soul mate cannot heal what is painful within you.  The love of someone who cares for you cannot heal the wounds you have acquired from a traumatic childhood.  The love of a partner cannot rescue you from the clutches of dependency—whether it is shopping, eating, sex or drugs or something else.  The love of another person cannot save you from sadness, from anxiety or from whatever is within you.  I can’t emphasize this enough.

If you have issues, such as discussed above, then you owe it to yourself and to your children to get help, real help.  And that doesn’t come in the form of a Prince Charming.  Sorry.  I wish it did.  I once thought it would.  ‘He just has to be the right one.’  I imagined.  ‘Once, I meet that right person who is meant for me (my soul mate), everything is going to fall into place and my life is gonna finally be what it was meant to be.’

Ummm… not really.  Chances are, you’re going to have to be your own rescuer, your own Princess Charming (or should I say Queen Charming).  More than likely, you’re going to have to do the dirty work in terms of fixing yourself up on your own.

Lord knows I know.  I suffered from depression for many years.  My favorite go-to-remedy?  Fantasizing.  One of my biggest fantasies was about finding my soul mate.  I imagined that my soul mate would come, I would be healed by the force of his love and support and that suddenly, my life would make sense.  Quickly, the fantasy evolved into something a little more practical (taking into account the persistent depression that had deeply affected my life).

I reasoned that my soul mate would probably be a lot like me, someone who was smart and talented, but who was quite lost, had a lot of hidden pain and needed help in life.  Together, we could love each other through our inadequacies and through the force of our love, enter the magical land of healing together.

Knowing that I suffered from depression affected the potential partners I was attracted to.  I was attracted to the underdogs, the fixer-uppers, the potentially brilliant, talented guys with tremendous potential, but, who were stumbling, hesitant, brooding, sensitive, moody, and sometimes, even downright miserable.  I could never be with a “normal” guy, I reasoned.  Sensitive, moody, troubled guys were so much more interesting.  But, the reality is that I felt I couldn’t match with someone who already had their shit together.  I needed somebody who was struggling with life like me and then we could figure things out together.

Back to The Dating Mom’s Thrive Guide To Successful Dating

Filed Under: The Dating Mom's Thrive Guide Tagged With: Books

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Dating and Relationships

Dating and Relationships with Kristy
Life Starts At Mom
Ask Kristy – Relationship Advice
The Dating Mom's Thrive Guide
Pancakes Taste Like Poverty

Top Dating Posts

  • Stop Analyzing His Texting Habits - 296,217 views
  • Stop Being Afraid of Being Alone for the Rest of Your Life - 26,426 views
  • Don’t Let Others Have The Power To Judge You - 17,987 views

Be a Part of Our Community

Follow us on Facebook:
We are on Twitter too:
Follow @SingleMomDotCom
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy

SingleMom.com™ Specials

  • Ask Laurie – Advice to Single Moms
  • Tell Us Your Amazing Single Mom Story
  • Become a SingleMom.com™ Contributor
  • Drawings and Giveaways

Be Our Friend, Join Our Community

  • You can follow us on Twitter
  • Or subscribe to our RSS

Single Mom Categories

Latest Post

  • One About My Own Mom

© 2025 - SingleMom.com Is About Dating, Finding Assistance, Improve Education, Parenting - All Rights Reserved.
Most of the images are Copyright (c) of 123RF Stock Photos