Attract What You Want in a Man: Process

[ Read the initial post What Kind of Men are You Attracting and Why? ]

So you’ve thought about what you don’t want in a relationship and more importantly what you do want! We all want to fall in love with the perfect man for us and it doesn’t have to be hard. A lot of women think its hard (especially single moms) because they’re missing the most important piece of the game. To find the kind of love you want, you have to become it first. You have to become what you want to attract in others. Most women think that if they can find what they’re missing in themselves in another that they’ll have accomplished real love. But it doesn’t work that way at all. To accomplish real lasting love with someone else, you have to be what you want to attract. The traits you want to attract in another are important to you because they are what make you happy but as you already know, you are the only one who can make yourself happy. Others come along and you love them because they inspire the traits in you that make you happy.

So how do you become what you want in a relationship? Well if you read my previous post What Kind of Men are You Attracting and Why, then you’re ready to read this and learn the process I used to start attracting what you want. In my previous article, I asked that you think about and realize the common traits that you don’t want about your previous relationships. I also asked you to figure out what you do want to attract. So if you’ve done that, let’s get on with the process and start attracting the perfect man!

Step 1. What is it that you want to attract? This can be anything from a man who is sexy to a man who is trustworthy. The important thing is that it means something to you and you’re excited about having it. You are going to work on becoming it first. So I want you to write down the following words and fill in the blank with the trait that you want to attract. I am _______. For example, I want to attract a man who feels worthy because I have always attracted men who were insecure. So I wrote down I am worthy. My intent was to feel worthy and in achieving this attract men who also feel worthy and demolish my long existing curse of commitment phobic men.

Step 2. Now you’re going to think about and write down 3 reasons why you are what you wrote above. These reasons make you truly feel and believe that you are what you want to attract. For example, I wrote that I’m worthy because 1. I’m caring 2. I’m passionate about life and 3. I love myself.   There is no right or wrong to this but the key is to believe in what you write. If you are feeling resistance or you don’t think you truly believe in this, pick another trait to attract that feels less resistant to you. It’s okay to do this because once you see that this process works, you’ll believe more in fixing the more resistant traits that you want to attract.

Step 3. Now think about your list that you’ve made and choose the one reason that you resonate with the most. This will become your daily affirmation for the next 5 days. Take your time choosing one and if none of them feel moving, write some different ones down. Play with this a little but pay attention to how thinking about each makes you feel and choose the one that moves you inside and feels awesome! The one I chose was I am worthy because I love myself. Put your I am sentence together with the reason you chose. You now have an affirmation that will take your desire and translate it into your physical world through your feelings.

Step 4. Now I want you to think of a situation or you can even create one from your imagination that when you think about makes you feel the affirmation you chose. Or create something in your imagination that makes you feel it. For me, I remember how much love I felt for myself when I decided to put all my trust in my intuition and give up grad school to take a huge chance on writing. Being able to trust myself that much makes me feel how much I love myself. Capture the feeling and really let it resonate throughout you. Linger in it for a minute and just allow yourself to feel it. When you feel you’ve really captured the feeling, move on to step 5.

Step 5. You have the words and you have the feeling. Now it’s time to bring the 2 together. You are going to write your affirmation down on a sheet of paper 15 times. Doing this puts a sense of physicality to your desire and allows you to focus on it more. The more you focus on something and feel it, the more it becomes your reality. Now the most important part of this step is to think about the situation and the feeling from step 4 while you are writing your affirmation 15 times. Let the feeling mingle with the words and become one with them. Write and feel. Write and feel. Write and feel. Think about how good it feels. Be excited about it because you are already becoming and attracting exactly what you want!

Step 6. Once you’re done writing your affirmation out 15 times and you’ve really let the feeling settle in, take time to sit back, close your eyes, relax and enjoy the process you just experienced. Take note of how your day seems different. Let the feeling of being what you want in a man be felt throughout the day and watch how it affects the events that happen throughout your day. You can even keep a diary of it.

You will do this process for 5 consecutive days and if you let yourself believe in it, you will start to notice wonderful changes in your life and in yourself and you will notice how you feel that Mr. Perfect is getting closer and closer to sweeping you off your feet. Comment below and let me know what you experience throughout your process!

Your dreams, desires and everything you could ever want already exists inside of you. You desire it because it’s possible so give into it and become it. The easiest way is to feel it first and trust the feeling to bloom into the world outside. Love within yourself when free becomes inspiration to others.