There are two very important sides to all of us. The worthy and the unworthy and being aware of these two sides are crucial to your happiness because the more aware of them you are, the more time you can spend on the worthy side where your possibilities are limitless. 
We live in a physical world where proof is demanded in a way that we can feel, touch, taste, see and hear because if you can physically sense something there’s no room for doubt. We struggle with doubt a lot because we’ve been raised in this world where we believe we have to earn worthiness. We believe that the proof of our worthiness lies in the relationships we have, the money we have, the house and cars, our college degree, our physical beauty etc. But I’ve become aware of something amazing and I know it lies in all of us. There’s something (I don’t know what to call it) inside of us that is much more aware of our worthiness than we know and all you have to do to know it is really there is dabble in your desires a little. No matter how crazy your desires are, whether they lead you to wanting to be the richest person in the world, travel to every country in this world before you die or if your desire is as simple as enjoying a deep emotional connection with others, your desires are there in your thoughts as a part of you because somewhere inside, you know that you are worth all of this.
For a long time I was stuck in the unworthy version of myself. I was a typical result of a world that believes you have to earn your worthiness so everything bad that happened in my life was my fault and was what I deserved. And as one bad thing after another happened, my confidence was beaten down more and more. Sure I fought it but it didn’t matter how much I fought it, my belief that I deserved the bad things that were happening to me kept me in that unworthy state. What happened? I got more bad things. Finally I reached a point where I was so depressed and done with life that I had two options. Give in to defeat and let what little bit of myself I had left die or listen to that tiny voice inside me that knows better. That tiny voice was telling me that amazing things were in store for me if I could just believe in myself. I decided to listen to that voice because it was so persistent that I knew it was there for a reason. I remember lying on my wood floor in my new condo, newly divorced, for hours crying and fighting through the decision to give into dying spiritually or that tiny voice that just wouldn’t go away. Then all of a sudden without reason, I quit crying, I got up off the floor and went outside. I stared at the moon for a long time and thought about how bright it was. I thought about how if it weren’t for the sun and a series of very unlikely events or miracles, it would be without light and without notice to the rest of the universe. There is something larger and more knowing that has aligned the wisdom of the universe to support us all. Just like that tiny voice inside me supported me that night by means of a larger wisdom that I’m a part of, the sun supports the moon by means of a larger wisdom. This wisdom (God or whatever you want to call it) knows how important we are and that each and every one of us exists for a reason. So let me explain the differences I’ve come to know about these two sides.
The unworthy side. This side has one very dominant word. Hard. Feeling unworthy makes life hard because you feel like you have to earn everything good. You feel like you have to earn love, earn respect, earn your worth and your confidence. You believe that you have to pave your own path and work hard and do it all on your own. Life is lonely and scary because you believe that your lack of worth has left you all alone and unworthy of the support of others. Do you ever feel like this? We all do at least sometimes but it’s only because we are perceiving our life from our physical perception. We are looking out at the things in our physical world and putting our value into this. This especially rings true with single mothers because we are seeing that we are alone in raising our children, those of us who are divorced are seeing that someone we thought loved us left us. We’re alone. We’re scared. But you’re missing something. There’s something you can’t see but that you can feel that will never let you fall and all you have to do is pull your focus inward and start seeing what lies inside of you.
The worthy side. I’m not going to contradict this side because I want to tell you how it feels. There’s two words that I strongly associate with my worthy side. Supportive and happy. Supportive because the side of me that knows my worth knows that no matter what everything will always be okay. This side knows that we are all a part of something bigger and so amazing that our physical senses can’t make sense of it and this side knows that that something bigger will always support us…no matter what. Just like that little voice supported me that night that I almost gave up. That little voice is a very loud resounding vibration that dominates my life now. I put faith in that little voice and that knowing that I’m much worthier than I knew at the time. Happy because when you can feel your worth (not understand it) you are overcome by so much happiness that you inspire those around you. I get told all of the time that I have a presence about me that makes people want to be around me and it’s because I’m so happy and it’s just pure happiness. Even on my bad days, I can stop and say “Wait, I’m too good to feel bad” and I make it my intent to feel happy again. I know I’m worthy of being happy and knowing this makes it true. Its one thing for others to tell you that you are worthy but when you can say it to yourself and mean it, you’ll never doubt it again.
How to feel worthy. I get asked all the time how it is I came to feel worthy. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure of the details but I can tell you a few things about it. First, stop listening to everyone else. The most important thing for you to know is that you already know of your worth but it lies in your sub conscious. No one can convince you of your worth so you have to stop looking to others for comfort and start looking to yourself first.
Have faith in yourself. Know that you have the answers you are searching for and that all you have to do is listen and give yourself a chance. Follow your heart.
Put yourself first. Don’t do things to please others. Please yourself first. Again, we feel that proof of our worth is in how others feel about us so a lot of times, we try to please others. But stop and think about what you’re doing. Is it nurturing your own happiness? When you put your happiness first, you inspire others to do the same. Just as Jesus did, lead by example. If you put your happiness first, others will learn a great deal from you and people will find pure joy in being around you but most importantly, you will be your own best company.
Make it your dominant intention to only focus on what makes you feel good. You are worthy of all that makes you happy and nothing that makes you unhappy. Being unhappy is simply not recognizing your own worth when the wiser part of you knows better. It’s resistance. Let go of the unhappy things in your life because you are worthy of being happy.
Trust in a bigger existence. I could go through all the proof of there being something bigger but the only way to truly feel it is to trust in it. To have faith in it and having faith means that even in the face of doubt, you believe. Don’t reason or try to logically explain there being something bigger to your existence. Just trust it and I promise that the more you give in and trust this, the better you will feel. You are worth being supported by God and the entire universe. It wasn’t chance that your existence came to be and you know this. You are here to enjoy your existence, to be happy and to create exciting possibilities.
Know that you don’t have to earn your worth because you have always been worthy. Feeling like we have to earn our worth creates fear and unease because it creates the possibility that we are unworthy. So let go of that crap because the mere fact that you are capable of love is enough to be worthy.
Love is our ultimate power and the quickest way to feeling your worth. Tell yourself that you are worthy of being loved by every existence and let it come to you. You are so worthy that you don’t have to pursue love because when you allow your worth to shine, love is attracted to you. And even in times of loss your heart still feels warm because you’ve achieved the most powerful love of all. You love yourself unconditionally.
Feeling unworthy is just an illusion that we create out of fear. But the truth is that no matter what has happened in your life, you’ve always been worthy. When you feel anger, hurt, loneliness, sadness, anxiety or anything bad, it’s only because you’re resisting your truth. Worthiness is your truth and it’s ready to be felt by you. All you have to do is trust it.
Think about your desires a lot. I take about ten minutes out of every day and I think about my desires and what I want. I allow myself to feel them as though I already have them. The more you think about your desires, the more you believe in them. Take time to actively feel worthy. This means taking time out of every day to just pay attention to yourself and do things that give you peace and joy because you know you’re worthy of pampering yourself every day. This can be anything. For me, I take time out of my day to read my favorite books, go out back and enjoy my garden and the trees and I just allow myself to be alone with my thoughts and appreciation for my life. I think about all the things I love about myself, how excited I am in pursuit of my new desires and all the things I love about my life. Doing this reinforces my feeling of worthiness and sets me in a place of attracting only things that can match my vibration of worth.
There’s not a single existence in this universe that is unworthy of being here and the bigger and wiser cause of all existence knows this but we get so caught up in fear and doubt that we create an unworthiness that doesn’t really exist. Let go of the things and people that don’t nurture your worthiness and your desires and let them go in peace. Don’t waste another minute in your unworthy version because the worthy version of you is waiting for you to trust it and to unlock the unlimited abundance that you deserve. I have and I know you can too.
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