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Single Mothers - Day to Day
Articles
"Eternal Sunshine" Remembering the good
by Meg Dendler
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A spirituality.com commentary
I was surfing yesterday and found this fantastic
freebie online. It's for a completely free
subscription to Parents magazine. That's pretty
cool! I sign up for mine.
Get a free subscription to Parents Magazine!
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If you could
completely erase someone from your memory,
would you do it? Would life be happier if
you could remove every sad memory or
heartbreaking event? Those intriguing
questions enticed me to see Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In
the film, Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine
(Kate Winslet) have gone through a bitter
breakup. Impulsively, Clementine has Joel
totally erased from her memory through a
new technological process. Deciding what’s
good for the goose is good for the gander,
Joel arranges to do the same. But in the
middle of the process he realizes in
addition to losing his bad memories, he is
also losing all of the wonderful, loving
and joyful memories associated with
Clementine.
This really hit home with me. After the
movie, I contemplated what significant
people I might have erased from my memory.
I quickly recalled several boyfriends from
high school and college who broke my
heart. Would my life be better if I’d
never met them? Would I be the same person
I am today?
I
would never give up remembering the
support I felt from divine Love.
In
thinking about this, I realized anyone who
was an integral part of my life invariably
brought goodness despite the tough times
we may have shared. It was often that
combination of elements in a relationship
that prompted me to grow and learn.
Most importantly, my heartbreaks taught
me to rely on solid, spiritual ideas. I
have felt the proof of this statement from
Science and Health: “The wintry
blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of
affection, and scatter them to the winds;
but this severance of fleshly ties serves
to unite thought more closely to God…” I
would never give up remembering the
support I felt from divine Love, or God,
even when things seemed dark.
Through these experiences, I've learned
the importance of honesty and
communication, and how to be more loving.
In fact, I'm convinced that important
relationships like my marriage are more
successful because of these lessons.
I would miss out
on the opportunity to forgive.
There is also something to be said about
the nature of forgiveness. I thought next
about a friend from my youth with whom I’d
shared a lot of good times. Later as grown
adults she betrayed me, leaving me hurt
and confused. Suddenly, the good times
we’d shared didn’t seem so good anymore.
But if I erased all of my memories, I
would miss out on the opportunity to
forgive.
Forgiving actually allows for the
possibility of healing, and it’s vital to
my understanding of God. I’ve found that
God’s love embraces everyone. In the years
since the initial hurt, I’ve experienced
the freedom of forgiving my friend. Over
the years, I’ve seen her regularly through
mutual friends and at social events. We’ve
come so far that now we meet with a hug.
There’s a great benefit to reviving a
relationship. I would never want to miss
out on the good that brings. And so, no, I
wouldn’t erase my friend from my memory if
I could.
In the future, new technology may be
able to erase an individual from our
memory and leave us with the “eternal
sunshine of the spotless mind”—and no
thought of pain or sadness. But, in line
with the conclusive message of this movie,
I know I would rather have loved and
learned—and grown closer to God in the
process.
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