Menopause, such a lovely topic to write about, but with ALL honesty its
mind-boggling. Remembering how jovial my physician was when he informed me, and
I quote, “You are entering a new chapter of your life, enjoy…What the good Doc,
did not mention, were the hot flashes, the without appointment necessary mood
swings, the crying jags, etc., etc., and etc.…
Now, I used to be an even-tempered individual, not these days. Standing in a
short line at the grocery store will set me off, and please must I mention
traffic? Just seeing a light suddenly change to red might jump off a killing
spree. But in all honesty, I am willing to give this Menopause thing a try, I
mean do I really have a choice in the matter?
Well, lets get this story rolling…. I’m at work, I work third shift by the way,
and thank you for your condolidances. Anyhoo, I was “banging the keyboard” as I
call it and for those who minds have left to Guttervilles, calm down, sorry, I
can’t comply with your freaky requests. I am a Data Entry Operator, (whoo-hoo)
for a lock-box company; which entails me to key in check amounts for different
vendors, now for all of you consumers who seem to can’t balance your checkbook
accurately because of that one check that doesn’t make sense? OOPS, sorry,
that’s me, please forgive my error, but I get sleepy.
This particular night I was feeling pretty good had my headphones on listening
to my Stevie Wonder’s Part-lover, bopping my head to the beat. Looking up
at the clock it was ten minutes to my break, I shifted my position in my chair
and BAM!!! The “volcano” had started to erupt, I said to myself, “Not now
and please not here?” Yeah sure, like the “volcano” is taking special
requests. So I walk slowly and cautiously to the washroom to handle my
business and low and behold, the “volcano” had brought company…I was shocked…I
had to go home.
Halfway crawling back to my station, where I pose a question to one of my
co-workers. I said, “Can you answer this riddle for me?” She replied, “A
riddle?” Yes, a riddle. I said, “How do you tell your MALE supervisor you got
to go home because you have female issues, (you see I don’t have female
problems, I have issues, problems left me a long, long time ago). She said,
“Tell him you got to go home, you’re sick”. Sounds good, but I am not really
sick, in the standard meaning of the word, I got ISSUES…
Thankfully, my supervisor was close-by and I asked him if I could go home, I am
sick. Now, I don’t know if he noticed me earlier “bopping my head” to my music,
got to give him credit, he is very observant. He’s probably thinking, “Yeah,
she’s sick all right, probably made a phone call on her break and now its all
good.”
Seriously, he showed empathy and said, “Fine”. He turns to look at the clock
and proceeds to count hours. He replied, “You know this is going to cause you
to have one-half of an occurrence.” Thinking to myself, “Here I am
standing, 1.Totally embarrassed. 2. You don’t have the slightest clue what is
really going on, and 3. I don’t want to hear about some dogged-gone attendance
policy!!!”
My company is very strict concerning attendance and that is fine and dandy, but
I did not request this type of interruption. So I gently tried to whisper to my
boss, “You see, I am having FEMALE ISSUES, that is why I need to go home.” He
replied, “I understand, you can go home.” No, YOU don’t understand, this
“volcano” has been erupting for the past 32 years and right now I am seriously
considering to having the matter settled permanently, (nothing too drastic, of
course).
Before I close, I do want to make an earnest plea to all of those feminine
product companies. Someone owes me a position as Chairman of the Board, with
all of the dollars I have spent down through the years, I mean, Come On!!!
Nevertheless, I want to leave a word of wisdom to all of the ladies, females,
sisters and sista’s. If anyone approaches you with a slight smirk on their face
telling you to embrace Menopause, I want you to take those Coaches, Louis
Vuttion, and Prada purses, and beat the living HELL out of them.
About Author:
Delores Thomas
Who would imagine that my writing career would begin with a loving poem
dedicated to my Father? I am a divorced, single mother of a son, David Anthony,
now in the military.
Upon my father’s passing, I decided to write a tribute to this
wonderful man, which I entitled, “Thank You from Daddy’s Baby Girl”.
My poem was chosen by the International Society of Poetry to be
included in their “Reflections of Innocence” anthology. Several months later, I
was the recipient of Poet of the Year for 2001 and 2003 from The Shakespearean
Famous Poets Society, which included the Shakespeare Trophy of Excellence.
Receiptant of numerous poetic awards, The Editor’s Choice Award for Outstanding
Achievements in Poetry for 2001, 2003 and 2005. The Best Poems and Poets for
2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005. 2002 International Merit of Poet, 2003, 2004
and 2005 Outstanding Achievements in Poetry.
After attending a poetic convention in Nevada, I was inspired to
publish in 2001, “Treasures From A Nubian Heart”, a book of poetry which is now
being taught in several high schools across the country.
My poetic endeavors can be found in over twenty anthologies and four Sounds of
Poetry compact discs. In addition, my first theatrical play, “A Spinster’s
Story” made its first debut in Chicago 2003. It is an epic story of a single
female approaching mid-life, struggling with her feelings of loneliness as she
begins to re-evaluate her life. After being diagnosed with a deadly illness,
will she be able to ultimately make the right decisions concerning her health,
her career and the man of her dreams?
In January 2004, Sun Publications chose me as their Local Artisan
and in May 2004, The International Library of Poetry nominated me for inclusion
into The International Who’s Who in Poetry.
From that loving poem dedicated to my Father in 2001, my writing has
truly blossomed as I expand my creativity into adult and children plays, short
stories and even an one-woman show, entitled, “Historical African-American
Females, Then and Now”. I am currently working on my 2nd book, A
Growing Experience, especially for children.
The people and events always inspire me in my life and my writing
reflects what I observe and discover.
I am looking forward to the future and the new stories and poems
that I will produce. Each one is a new adventure for me and, hopefully, for my
readers as well.
