Single Parents Need Support
By Bernie Siegel, MD
Author of
Love, Magic and Mudpies: Raising Your Kids to Feel Loved,
Be Kind, and Make a Difference
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Responsibility is the price of greatness.
--Winston Churchill
Sources by
Amanda Bach
Book
Description
During his many years working with thousands of patients and their families,
Dr. Bernie Siegel became an expert on how to turn sometimes trying
situations into opportunities for personal growth. In his newest book, this
husband of more than 50 years, father of five children, and grandparent of
eight, shares the gems garnered from his practice and his own family life to
show readers what hes learned about raising kids with love, wisdom, and
humor. How much time with you do your kids need? How do you teach your
children values? When kids misbehave, how do you mix appropriate anger and
discipline with love? What are some ways to help children adjust to
separation or divorce? Should you get a family pet? With a wealth of quotes,
anecdotes, parenting tips, and his comforting, caring, down-to-earth tone,
Dr. Siegel addresses the myriad questions that parents face as they strive
to guide their kids to happy, healthy adulthood. Delivered with just the
right dose of compassion, inspiration, and gentle humor, Love, Magic and
Mudpies is an insightful and supportive guide on every aspect of parenting.
---------------------
Single parents are not all teenage mothers without jobs
or child support, despite the common stereotypes
presented in the media. There are many reasons for
becoming a single parent -- from divorce, desertion, or
death of a spouse to an informed choice to go it alone.
All single parents face difficulties, one way or
another. The problems of an unmarried teen mother with
no support are obviously very different from those of a
prosperous 35-year-old father whose wife died of cancer,
yet both are forced to cope with the emotional,
psychological, and financial issues of single
parenthood.
Single parents have more in common than they may
realize. They alone are responsible for the lives of
their children. They alone must help their children
become decent human beings capable of giving and
receiving love. They alone must encourage their children
to dream big and pursue those dreams. They alone must
find a way to pay for braces, proms, school trips,
soccer equipment, piano lessons, college, and whatever
else their kids need to become well-rounded,
contributing members of society. And most important,
they alone must be both mother and father to their kids.
Single parents have to learn to ask for help. Even if
the practical issues of finances, housing, childcare,
and education are squared away, family support remains
crucial. Grandparents can be a vital asset. They are
likely to be loving and accepting of everyone concerned,
and they can teach proper parenting techniques. Support
groups can also be extremely valuable. People who share
the same experience understand as few others can. They
are often insightful teachers because they have been
there too.
Being
a single parent is tough under the best of
circumstances. If you are in that situation, please do
not hide your wounds. Ask for the support you deserve.
And when you feel discouraged or afraid, ask your child
to hold you and make you laugh. You'll feel better
instantly.
How to Make the Magic:
It's
easier to take good care of your children when you put
yourself in their place. Take time to sit down and write
about it. For a moment, act as if you are not the single
parent but the child of a single parent. What do you
want and need? What would you ask your parent to do for
you? When you do this exercise, don't worry about
yesterday or tomorrow; just ask yourself how you can
give your children the love they need today. Then keep
at it, one day at a time. Know that a child who feels
loved does not feel deprived.
Reprinted from:
Love, Magic & Mudpies: Raising Your Kids to Feel Loved,
Be Kind, and Make a Difference by Bernie
Siegel, MD © 2006 Bernie Siegel, MD. (November 2006;
$17.95US/$21.95CAN; 1-59486-554-X) Permission granted by
Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books
are sold or directly from the publisher by calling at
(800) 848-4735.
Author
Bernie S. Siegel, MD,
was born in Brooklyn, New York. For many, Bernie needs
no introduction. In 1978, he began talking about patient
empowerment and the choice to live fully and die in
peace. In 1986, his first book,
Love, Medicine &
Miracles was published; the book became a
worldwide bestseller and redirected his entire life.
Bernie and his wife, Bobbie, have five children and
eight grandchildren. In times past, their home outside
of New Haven, Connecticut, with its many children, pets,
and interests, has resembled a cross between a family
art gallery, museum, zoo, and automobile repair shop. It
still resembles these things, although the children are
trying to improve its appearance in order to avoid
embarrassment.
For
more information, please visit
www.berniesiegelmd.com.
