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Divine
Daycare
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My kids know from daycare.
Between the two of them, they were in ten different childcare
situations before the age of five. The stresses and changes in my life
-- divorce, moving across country, several different jobs -- required
their care situations to change frequently as well.
So, in light of the recent study about the effect of early daycare
fluctuations on children, I asked Carol and Chris (fourteen and nine
now) if they thought all those changes had left any kind of scar on
them.
They stared at me blankly.
I don't think we were just "lucky!"
The next thing I knew, I was being treated to memory upon memory of the
various places they'd been -- memories that were delightfully detailed
and genuinely joyous. It was obvious that they'd approached their
multiple relocations with a sense of adventure, taking full advantage of
the positives and not being discouraged by the negatives.
I don't think we were just "lucky." Something was going on
that sustained us during all those changes. Let's call it "divine
day care." God is who I turned to for every need, and I turned to
that care daily. I believe this care is available for everyone, in every
city or town, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter how much money
you have or what your job requires.
For me, turning to God is not just a blithe "Oh, the kids will be
fine no matter what I do" approach. It's based on the conviction --
born of study and experience -- that all three of us have a direct
connection with God, the source of all care.
The good
that God sends to one person can't be a source of harm for someone else.
That direct connection is an important
element. I had lots of decisions to make when Carol and Chris were
young, and I didn't really have the experience yet to know what I was
doing. But when a genuine connection to the divine informed my
decisions, the result was always good. When the Decision-Maker is
infinitely good, good must flow from its decisions to everyone involved.
Another way to say this is: the good that God sends to one person (me)
can't be a source of harm for someone else (the kids).
One of the things I had to decide on was my career. It was my dream to
pursue a career in the film industry -- a risky venture at best. But I
was always wondering how I'd do. Eventually I realized I had to stop
agonizing about it. I brought the whole thing to God, through a deep
prayer of yearning. This involved humble, receptive listening for a
spiritual idea.
The answers came and were very comforting. In essence I heard:
"Follow your dream. It will bring you closer to me. As for Carol
and Chris, I am caring for them, even as I am caring for you. Let me
hold your hand, and I will be with you all, all the time."
Everything those messages told me happened.
I went forward on the strength of that assurance, but also
ready to listen if new ideas came. The journey in (and out) of the film
business was indeed the road I needed to take to learn more about my
closeness to God. And that divine Love never stopped caring for all of
us, all the time.
Now that doesn't mean our little threesome didn't have things to work
out. Each time a change was necessary, we had to be flexible, to adjust
our ways to the ways of others, to be tolerant of different approaches.
And yes, there were times I didn't know what we'd be doing the next day.
But I had an underlying foundation of trust in divine Love that the kids
could feel, too. Apparently they took that trust with them wherever they
went.
"Mom, you're not staying,
are you?"
At one point my son was in a government-run
daycare where many of the other parents spoke another language and were
very different from me. We were at a point where income was low and this
was the best option I'd been able to find.
At first, it was hard for me to leave him there, and I thought maybe I'd
made a mistake. But the very first day he instantly began running around
with the other pre-schoolers. I guess I loitered too long before
leaving, because he finally called out, "Mom, you're not staying,
are you?"
God is directing
you, too.
This taught me that it's natural
for the kids to feel their own connection with the divine, to feel
included, not excluded, and to carry that connection with them. In the
following months, I continued to turn to the promise of divine daycare
and leaned on it. That daycare was a good experience for us. And, I'll
always remember that place as where he learned the alphabet.
Feeling connected at all times to good, to God, has served my family
well in the years since then, both when the kids had to change grade
schools and I changed jobs and location. Although the landscape and
traveling companions shifted frequently, the constant on our journey has
always been an awareness of and dependence on divine Love's constant
care.
If you're facing daycare dilemmas, you can take comfort in this: God is
directing you, too. By quiet, trustful listening you will know where
your child should be. One way or another, you'll find that we're all in
the same place, in the daily care of divine Love.
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