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FOURTH WEEK OF NOVEMBER

"My grandparents are my babysitters "

#301102.01
Q: Dear Joy, my son , B., is 4 months old and has become the joy of my life, he is simply amazing. My question for you is: I have been back to work for 3 months, and I work about 70 hours a week.  I feel like I am not giving him enough time and that he will end up closer to my grandparents than he is to me?  Also my grandparents are my babysitters they help me a lot, the only problem is that they have a hard time understanding that he is my son. I need to find a 3rd shift sitter rather than having my family involved so much this is actually the question how do I go about  finding someone to take care of my son  while I'm working. And how do I know there safe. Thank you for reading this. You may be a bit confused, I hope I make sense. Yours truly. an very overwhelmed young single mom. G.S."

A: Dear G.S, Many single mothers experience exactly what you are going through right now.  Yes, you are working hard for living so that you can provide your children a better life.  However, working that many hours, you don't even have time to sleep or eat for yourself, and you obviously don't have enough time to spend with your newborn child.  You should feel fortunate that your grandparents are helping you out.  Yes, they may act up that they are the parents sometimes and that can frustrated you so much.  However, it's actually "them" that taking care of Bowen. I can understand your frustration and it must be extremely hard for you to see that.  However, the fact that your parents truly love and care for your son.  They only do what they are doing because they want to help out and also B. is their grandson.  If you don't want your parents to influence in raising your son, then you can hire someone else.  You can look on newspaper or go to some agencies to find a legitimate babysitters.  However, it's best if you can find out from someone that you know such as your friends or relatives.  And you have to trust yourself if you want to hire a babysitter. There's nothing guarantee.  Please also make sure that the babysitter is licensed and have good reference from the previous employers.

Before I go, I would like to let you know that the best years of a child is when they are an infant up to 5 years old.  The more time you spend with them, the more story you read to them, the more time you play with them, the better they will grow up and become.  Please think what is best for your baby.  I understand it is difficult decision for you.  However, think twice about what you are about to do.

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